The Silent Miaow Paul Gallico
　　When I was a very young kitten/I had the bad luck to lose my mother/and find myself alone in the world/at the age of six weeks.// After a week or so in the country/living off a most revolting diet of grubs and insects,/I determined to take over a family/and become a house cat,/and I set about immediately to achieve my ends.//
　　I emerged from the woods,/hungry and disgusted with nature in the raw,/to see,/standing in a clearing,/a small, white house/with green-painted shutters.// There was a barn nearby,/a flower and vegetable garden,/a small grape arbor, a fish pond, etc.// The house and the grounds were neat and well-kept,/and obviously belonged to persons of some affluence.//
　　I went to the back door of the house/and looked around.// A man and his wife were having breakfast inside.// This pair looked exactly like the family I wanted,/so I jumped onto the screen door,/clung there,/and cried piteously.// They looked up at me from their breakfast.//
　　The woman said,/“Oh, look!// The poor little thing,/it wants to come in.// Maybe it’s hungry.// I’ll give it some milk.”//
　　Just as I expected!// I had her.// All I needed was to get one paw inside the door.//

　　However,/it wasn’t going to be all that simple.// The man!// He began to shout,/bellowing that he hated cats/and he wouldn’t have one in the house.//
　　“Oho!”/I said to myself.// “This man is trouble,/but I can handle him.”//
　　The woman opened the door and picked me up,/saying to him,/“Oh, don’t make such a fuss, darling.// I’ll just give her some milk.// We’ll put her out afterward.”// And, of course,/the more she fussed over me/the angrier he got/until finally he shouted,/“Okay now, that’s enough!// Come on,/get it out of here.”//
　　The woman did this,/but as soon as she turned around,/I followed her back to the house.// We did this three times,/while the man came out of the house,/got into his car,/and watched us.// The fourth time/I just sat down in the woods and looked miserable.// The man kissed his wife goodbye,/but the last thing he did before he drove away/was to turn around to see me sitting there,/all alone,/by myself.// I was satisfied/because I was sure/that I had spoiled his day,/and all he would be able to think of would be me.//
　　Of course,/as soon as the car had disappeared down the road,/the wife came out of the house,/picked me up and carried me back inside,/as I knew she would.// I had her/where I wanted her.// We had a lovely day together.//
　　Just before evening the woman took me in her arms,/kissed me,/and said,/“Now,/Kitty,/I’m afraid you must go.// He’ll be coming back.”// She put me out,/and soon the headlights of the car came around the corner/and the man came home.//

　　I stayed until it was quite dark and then,/feeling sorry for myself,/because I was lonely and hungry again,/I sat outside the screen door/and just cried and cried and cried.//
　　The light was on in the dining room.// Through the window/I saw them eating their supper.// I went and sat under the window/and cried louder.// I put everything I had into my miaows.// They would have melted a heart of stone.//
　　The woman said,/“Oh, the poor little thing,/she must be hungry again.”//
　　The man shouted,/“For heaven’s sake then,/why don’t you let it in and feed it?”// So the woman came out and fetched me/and I had another good meal,/and after dinner,/instead of putting me out,/she took me onto her lap,/where she played with me,/and I at once began to purr and make up to her.// The man was reading his newspaper,/but every so often he would put it down/and throw us black looks.//
　　After a while/the woman put me onto her chair/and went out of the room.// Then she called down from upstairs,/“Oh, darling,/I’m almost ready for bed.// Will you put the cat out?”//
　　The man shouted,/“All right!”/and picked me up,/got a flashlight,/and carried me out.// He was most awkward holding me,/and when I got my head under his chin he said,/“Cut it out, Kitty,”/and I knew/I could have had him right then and there.// But I wasn’t in any hurry.// I knew now/that I could take him whenever I wanted.// I made up my mind to soften him up/so that when the time came/he would become my absolute slave.// So,/when he went to put me down in the woods,/I just fastened my claws into his shirt and screamed.//

　　He unfastened me and put me down.// I kept on yelling as he went off,/and of course,/as I knew he would,/he turned around/and turned on his flashlight/to see whether I was following him,/which of course I was.// He picked me up, saying,/“Kitty, stay there!”// I anchored myself to his shirt again.// We kept going through this routine.// He said,/“Don’t kid yourself, Kitty,”/and marched off with me,/but this time he took me to the barn,/where he rummaged about/until he found an old cardboard box,/into which he dumped me.// He said,/“There!// You can stay there,/and for heaven’s sake keep quiet!”// Then he walked off again/but couldn’t resist turning around/and putting the light on to see/if I was going to follow him again.// This time I didn’t.// I just sat there looking at him,/with my head showing above the box,/and he stood looking at me.// And so I gave him the Silent Miaow.// When I give the Silent Miaow/I open my mouth as if I am going to miaow.// But no sounds come out.// I look so sad/that people give me anything I ask for.//
　　The man came all unstuck.// He stood there/looking absolutely helpless,/saying,/“For heaven’s sake, Kitty,/what do you want now?”//
　　I gave him the Silent Miaow again.//
　　He came back into the barn looking confused,/picked me up out of the box,/and said,/“What the hell are you after, Kitty?”//
　　His wife must have been waiting at the door for him,/for I heard her say,/“Darling, what on earth have you been doing?// You’ve been ages,”/and his reply,/“I thought maybe it might be going to rain.// I put the cat in the barn.// She can stay there.”//
　　Ha! Ha! Ha!// Me stay there!// That was a good one!// I laughed myself to sleep.//

　　Of course,/after that/it didn’t take long at all,/and the very next night/I thought it was time to take him.//
　　It was a hot, sultry summer evening.// I was sitting on the woman’s lap/interfering with her sewing/and the man was reading his newspaper as usual.// Just then/there was a flash of lightning and a crashing of thunder/and it began to rain hard.//
　　Some time later/the thunder and lightning went away,/but it kept on raining/and the woman said,/“Will you put the cat out?”//
　　The man looked at her/as though she were out of her mind/and shouted,/“What?// Put her out on a night like this?// Are you crazy?”//
　　“Why?// She’ll be all right in the barn, won’t she?”//
　　The man was furious.// “Well,/I don’t want a cat in the house,”/he said.// “But that doesn’t mean putting her out in the rain.// Look,/she’s trembling like a leaf!”//
　　Trembling was right.// I was trying to keep from laughing out loud.//
　　I got onto the man’s shoulder/while he was reading the newspaper/and stayed there.// Suddenly he put the paper down,/yawned, stretched, and remarked,/“Bedtime, I guess.// Come on, Kitty.”// Nothing was said about the barn.// All of us went upstairs to bed.//
　　That’s the way I entered my house.//